new collages today

i am working on some new collages. i like collage it clogs my thoughts and so i don't think about much but which piece i should put where. it is taxing and simple. i simply love it. i just haven't had the energy or drive to work on large pieces lately.

alex remembers baptism and rejects christ for the company of men. 2004 

caution love on the horizon. 2004 

3/04 

accept this gift of blood, this wound of faith. 2004 

alex searches goth clubs to satisfy his hunger 

04-2004 

9/03 

10/03 

new day dawning

today i am feeling pretty good. except that i am craving a cigarette pretty badly. a feeling that i will have to get used to.
last night i had this great dream that i was living on one life to live. it is funny how whenever i dream about soaps i always dream that i am in them and they are real life. it makes sleep kind of fun.

its friday.

good or bad. who knows. i am fighting the urge to go back to bed. it has already been a long day for me. i was lucky enough to sleep in until 7 and i got up planning to just take my medicine and go back to bed and hope for sleep so that i could just avoid all this thinking that i do, all the worry. so i went to the store bought some bagels for breakfast and some vegetables to go in my falafel sandwich for lunch. i listened to some music and did some cleaning in the kitchen. i cleaned out my fridge and found some moldy tabouli of which i only had one serving of. i waste so much but it is difficult when you are just one person. maybe i could take my left-overs to my neighbors cause i know they will just rot in the fridge. after lunch i went to the food pantry. i was thinking it would be a good place to go once a week just to get out and do a little shopping. but i found out that it is a once a month thing. so they loaded up this cart for me and i pushed the cart home and it was full. it almost tipped over twice on the way home. but now i have staples so that i can use the rest of my food stamp money for the snacking things that i love.
now i am just trying to avoid the strong urge to go back to bed. i am so tired.

3/04  

cold 1/04 

for barbwire 12/03 

ok it's morning again

and what do i have just a few dreams left behind. just reminders of the past of the days when i used to do drugs and get A's in college. what ever happened to those days. did the world become more difficult or did i. that's where our emptiness goes.
love you all you viewers keep up the comments it is what i live for.

or a little bit

of brad pitts semen that you got from the sperm bank

or a tab of x

so i could masturbate myself to death imagining that i was shot with arrows. boys and girls i have been around the block

or a whip it

and a ciggarette

can anyone spare a bong hit

i need some paradise and a little bit more paranoia

and suddenly i find myself stumbling into darkness. 12/03.