so i have been depressed

and absent, it was all i could do to get out of bed and turn on the tv. it truly sucked, if i could have slept all day i would have. i don't like it but that is the way that i have to live. on wednesday night i finally slept for about 12 hours and it was good sleep with some good dreams then i got up feeling better and i finally started cleaning my house. it is still a big mess around my computer desk and easel but that is to be expected from an artist isn't it? there is only so much i can do. i managed to do one load of laundry today but i must have about 5 more to catch myself up to a point that if i do it every week then i can keep it under control. the only problem is that if i have to do it every week that is more time that i have to be out in the hallway which greatly increases my chances that i will have to socialize, which i dread from the paranoia that every one is out the to get me. but i survive live and breathe and i had to talk to someone today who has cancer.... when she asked me how i was i just said depressed and she started telling me about her cancer and there is nothing to be done about it. and the doctor said that in about 6 months the pain will be so great she will have to be hospitalized until she dies. i mean how do you respond to that and how do you justify staying in your apt because you are to afraid to leave when she can get out and manage. but i survive, live and breathe